Here are 7 facts for expat spouse life. Living abroad is a gift that keeps giving. While there are many perks, there are a number of challenges with the expat lifestyle for those who follow. Many people are not aware of those challenges until they are in it. Here in this blog post, I would like to lay out some of the challenging elements of life as an expat spouse. The purpose is not to discourage you, but it’s rather for your awareness.
In my opinion, expat spouses are the engine of expat families. They usually take care of matters at home, manage the details of moves and settling in, provide emotional support for their children and employed expat spouses, and have to take care of themselves. Their job is much harder than most people think, but no one gives enough credit for what they do. I see you, though. I hope this blog post will spread more awareness and bring compassion towards the expat spouses.
Silence Keeps Expat Spouses Safer Than Being Vocal
Expat spouses are the ones who are exposed to more local environment as they are more often out and about. You’re bound to experience something negative. It’s advised to be very mindful of the way you share any negative experiences or criticisms on social media outlets. As expats living abroad on a visa status, keep in mind that you do not have the same protection as the locals. If you would like to speak out about your negative experiences abroad, even if your Instagram or Facebook is on private setting, it’s always wise to be very careful. This is not about politics. Over many years of living abroad, I learned that it’s safer to live quietly and keep a low profile. I’m sure there are exceptions to this rule. This wouldn’t apply to journalists, for instance. For regular expats, however, it’s good to be safer than sorry.
Hurdles In Setting Up A Life Abroad For Expat Spouses
What I mean by that is that there are extra steps laid out for expats in order to receive certain services. In some countries, dependent visa holders would not have the same privileges as employed expat spouses. For example, don’t be surprised if applying for a SIM card, credit card or bank account as a dependent requires the employed spouse or the company’s sponsorship. In other words, if you are on a dependent visa, you as an individual may not be able to establish some accounts that involve financial responsibility. When you think about from the local business owner’s perspective, though, it is understandable, but it makes our lives a bit more inconvenient. Don’t be discouraged. Yes, it’s a hassle. However, the process of setting up a life abroad happens only at the beginning. Once your life is all set, it gets easier.
Finding a Career As an Expat Spouse Is Possible, But Very Difficult
One of the most difficult facts about expat spouse life is this one. I have met some trailing spouses who were successful in pursuing a career while following their employed spouses. For that to happen, all the starts have to align. It is not common. Many spouses who follow their employed spouses overseas for their careers had given up their own career prior to moving abroad or took a pause for a few years in their career in order to live abroad for a limited time with their spouses. Some may be able to work remotely. However, dealing with a time difference while working from a different time zone, and tax complications on a company side, are a few examples of the hurdles that ultimately make trailing spouses decide to give up their jobs. Trailing spouses make sacrifices in order to support their employed expat spouses.
Expat Spouses Have To Be Proactive About Finding New Friends
I always joke that finding friends as an expat spouse is like dating. You have a limited time abroad, so you waste no time. If you like someone, you move forward and exchange phone numbers. You need to find friends not only for yourself, but also for the enrichment of life abroad with your spouse and children. When my husband and I moved to Dakar, Senegal, we didn’t have any kids yet. I found it much more difficult to find friends when we didn’t have kids. Having a child introduced me to the whole new expat world where I connected with people more easily through kids.
Expat Children’s Behavior Will Affect Expat Parents’ Lives Abroad
Wherever you live, your children’s behavior will affect you. It seems that the repercussion of your child’s wrong doing is more severe when it happens abroad than that of the same incidents that happen back home. Some incidents incited by expat children could potentially have negative impact on careers of their expat parents. A mere mischief back home could be a serious offense abroad. I won’t go in details, but I think you get the idea. In the worst case, the whole family may end up relocating back home. We’ve always taught our children to be extra careful and think twice about their decisions when we lived abroad. Childrearing is difficult. Living abroad adds another dimension of challenge. I never realized about this fact for expats until my children reached adolescence.
Expats Will Most Likely Miss Important Events Back Home
This fact about expat spouse life has been one of the most difficult one for me personally. While you live abroad, you will find yourself missing out on many important occasions that happen back home unfortunately. Attending weddings, funerals, graduations, ceremonies, reunions, milestone parties, and more, for example, become a logistical challenge when living abroad. You will be able to attend some while it’s likely that you will miss some of them. That is just the way the expat life goes. Since you can’t always say yes to all the invites you receive, when you can say yes, it will be very special.
The End of School Year Is Emotional For Expats
This fact may be the most difficult one for expat children. Expat life naturally comes with many goodbyes. As the end of school year approaches, I always felt sad when I lived abroad because it meant that it was the time to say goodbye in the expat community. With the advancement of technologies, we all can stay in touch with our friends even after we go separate ways and live in different countries. However, saying goodbyes remains emotional and difficult. I have witnessed the last day of school on campus. It is impossible to leave the campus without tearful eyes. I have witnessed my kids’ school bus drivers honk as they drove off from the campus while teachers enthusiastically waved at their students who were looking outside on the bus and waving back to them. It’s the heavy time, but it also means that you will meet new people when the school resumes after the summer. That’s the upside of it. No matter how many times you say goodbye, though, it does not get easier.
I hope this post “7 Facts About Expat Spouse Life” will prepare the expectations as expat spouses embark on their journey abroad. Expat life will surely throw you a lemon, but you should make lemonade out of it. Having lived abroad, I believe that tackling these challenges have made me a stronger person and allowed me to grow. I hope your experience will be the same.
Living abroad is exciting, but when it becomes your everyday reality, you face challenges as well. Above 7 facts are mere examples of hardship you will face during the time abroad. Would you like to know how I stay happy overseas? Here is a blog post about 10 tips to stay happy when you live abroad.
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